I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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