We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
