dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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