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• (313): View more from Michigan

  4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes

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• (850): View more from Florida

  TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.

  (407): View more from Florida

  i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (810): View more from Michigan

  Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.

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• (310): View more from California

  i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (409): View more from Texas

  We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED

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