No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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