all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
