I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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