What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
