I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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