Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
