Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at templeÂ
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We're too hungover to prance.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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