I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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