just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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