did you get engaged???
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
