just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
