it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize