Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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