I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
