Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
