Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize