Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
