Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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