I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
