I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize