I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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