Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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