oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
