Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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