wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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