Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
