What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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