You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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