Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
