I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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