he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Randomize
