We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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