And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
