everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
