I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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