Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
