There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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