Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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