are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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