shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize