i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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