You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
