he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
