I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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