Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
