her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Actions speak louder than pants.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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