my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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