I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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