I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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