Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
