Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize