i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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