Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
