butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
