Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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