The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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